lately

I practically slept this entire weekend away. So tbh it's not so surprising how tomorrow is already Monday. I brought this upon myself didn't I? Oh wait not tomorrow, today. It is 2:33 am as I write this.

Y'know what, every day I feel ashamed of myself, and pledge to do better the next day. Every single day. It may not look like it I guess. I bet you'd probably scoff at me if you see me irl. How I am every day. But istg I have that thought every single day without fail. The thing that I do fail in is actually doing it. Taking action. I desire nothing but sleep these days. Then again, sleep makes me feel bad. Whenever I wake up and look at the time, I feel like throwing myself across the room.

To make things worse, I feel that I should not be feeling this, even the tiniest bit. I don't deserve to feel like this. I am comfortable. I am doing quite well in terms of life situation than others. I should be thriving!

But nah, here I am rotting. At least when having meetings and interviews I function, but I flop right after. I just wanna sleep.

yeah that's all for now